DID SOMEBODY SAY...?

I have a kitchen with every appliance,

A shrine to the art of domestic science,

A home, you’d suppose, of a culinary giant,

Did somebody say ‘Just Eat’?

I got a glass-topped, wipe-clean 6-zone hob,

A fancy sort - no buttons and knobs,

It’s waiting there when I’m back from my job,

Did somebody say ‘Just Eat’?

Got some pots and pans and a sieve somewhere and

A couple of fryers – deep fat and air,

The wine rack’s full but the fridge is bare,

Did somebody say ‘Just Eat’?

I get my meals on wheels, it’s all the rage,

Just jump on the app and scroll down the page, then

Summon a rider on minimum wage,

And somebody says ‘Just Eat!’

I’ve worked all day, I just wanna eat a

Meat feast 12-inch stuffed-crust pizza,

Full blown curry from a padded bag

Six samosas and an aloo sag,

Big buckets of brown from KFC

With extra chips and extra cheese,

Fried chicken thighs and fried chicken wings,

A cheeky little wine as the doorbell rings,

Finish it off with a circle of dreams -

Big snack, 6-pack of Krispy Kremes,

Delivery dinner – you just can’t beat it

Open the door, unpack, and eat it.

A thousand take-outs in front of the telly,

Trousers busting from my take-out belly,

Here’s another driver, there goes another twenty,

I’m sick and skint and running on empty...

I take a look in the mirror and I have to admit

That I could feel better and I look a bit shit

Got nothing in the cupboards so tomorrow I’ll quit and I

Forgot how to cook but I’ll have a go at it

And I’ll have to order now, just have a little bit

Coz there’s nothing in the cupboards so tomorrow I’ll quit

I know I’ve said it before and I’ll re-commit to

Cooking in my kitchen, fix up, get fit

But there’s nothing in the cupboards so I’ll have a little bit

And tomorrow I’ll be cooking coz tomorrow I’ll quit.

Yes tomorrow I’ll be cooking coz tomorrow I’ll quit.

And I’m not gonna say,

(Well I might just say),

No I’m not gonna say ‘Just Eat’.