They had jobs and a dog and a starter home,

And what they wanted next was some kids of their own,

Their hopes were sky-high, their passion heated,

But a year down the line they felt defeated.

They were going like the clappers but it just didn’t happen,

High hopes were dashed and spirits flattened.

Friends and family consulted, the internet checked,

Perform a 10-second handstand straight after sex!

Increase the rate of amorous advances,

Then flip straight over to improve your chances!

This inversion was, they suspected, a gimmick,

But with their only other option the fertility clinic,

Caution went to the wind and they gave it a try.

Turn upside down to multiply!

After six full weeks of post-coital acrobatics,

Tension was rising but progress was static,

And with the sad non-appearance of the vital blue line,

The old wives’ tale was shelved and Molly called time.

As, despite encouragement by her, from the comfort of the bed,

Jake had found the handstands caused a painful bloodrush to his head.