7 words 

A prince and a princess - two royal sons,

A vibrant new nanny - wagging tongues,

Insecure princess - feeling shunned,

Trouble’s brewing, here it comes!

‘We have a new nanny’, princess is informed,

She’s taken aback – ‘I wasn’t warned!’

The nanny is perfect – friendly and warm,

All in all, a right royal storm.

It all kicked off at a glamorous dance,

An invite for nanny well in advance,

The princess, affecting a hostile stance,

approached the said nanny and seized her one chance:

She murmured to nanny, right in the ear,

Nanny’s face fell – twisted with fear,

And she fled from the ballroom - floods of tears,

But what princess said?  No one could hear.

Seven words were apparently heard,

But the music was loud and hearing was blurred:

Suggestion 1: 

‘Your rabbit is in the cooking pot.’

So the nanny had fled but nobody followed,

Alone in the cloakroom, alone with her sorrow, 

Seven words were apparently heard,

But drink had been taken and the words were slurred:

Suggestion 2:

‘Your dress is tucked into your pants.’

The princess meanwhile, was the cat with the cream,

‘What was said?’ asked the prince, but she wouldn’t come clean,

Seven words were apparently heard,

The intention clear as the princess purred:

Suggestion 3:

‘You are sacked – here is your P45.’

The vibes of the dance went down a big notch,

The prince quizzed his wife while the royal guests watched,

Seven words were apparently heard,

Not received well as many observed:

Suggestion 4:

‘I’m leaving him.  The kids are yours.’

The prince felt his wife took a step too far,

Princess kept her cool, ‘Upset Nanny, Moi?’

Seven words were apparently heard,

Trouble brewing, emotions stirred:

Suggestion 5:

‘Nice hair!  Shame it’s on your chin.’ 

Accounts of the message were contradictory,

Specifics, to this day, remain a mystery,

Seven words were apparently heard,

Not kind ones, all concurred:

Suggestion 6:

‘You, me.  Courtyard - five minutes.  No tools.’

The words, it’s agreed, were distinctly unfriendly,

Prompted, it’s said, by the princess’ envy

of an innocent nanny still in her twenties,

Reported next morning in a media frenzy.

So what were those cruel words of which there were seven?

We can’t ask the princess this delicate question,

And the nanny kept schtum, retained her discretion,

So do let me know, if you have a suggestion.

© Sarah Ogilvie 2025